In the Presence of Love, We Transform
July 1, 2025
It is in the presence of love & safety that everything unlike love itself, rises to the surface to be gently integrated & released.
During my most recent time in the Amazon I had a large open wound on my ankle. When I started my master plant Dieta, I realized that this open wound was symbolic to the woundings that had been recently brought to the surface within my own internal world.
During my Dieta the tree I was dieting took me on a journey of learning to love the woundings within that had been arising. I quickly recognized they were simply parts of myself that had gone into hiding and were buried beneath shame, protecting me from ever having to face the pain of rejection ever again.
But this time it was not possible to stay in hiding. The light of love was too strong. The sense of safety too real. Cutting through my perfectionism & performance until I was naked and vulnerable, with no where to run or hide. Love found me in every state, and in every place. I even tried to hide under my poncho one evening in ceremony when I was gently tapped on the shoulder by the spirit of the tree I was dieting and she whispered to me “You can not hide from love”.
Only when it became clear that there truly was no place to hide, that all of me was seen, and yet I was safe, accepted, and held in compassion in the midst of it all, did I realize, I am loved. Unconditionally. Without reason. Forever. I cannot reach for it or grasp for it. I cannot push it away. And I most certainly cannot hide from it. It is simply truth.
This opening excavated the painful stories of unworthy & unloveable at their root. Dismantling their dominance in my psyche. Being replaced with new seeds being planted of love. Of truth. Of the I AM presence.
Allowing in love at a whole new depth also allowed me to also meet the edges of the sense of unworthiness that had kept me from loving all parts of me in the past. I got to see the conditioning of the unworthiness and how it was planted in my being from past experiences by how these parts of me had been met by those around me who clearly couldn’t love me because they did not love themselves. I also got to see how in past relationships I had begged my partners to love these parts of myself but they simply could not. Looking back, I can see clearly that they were simply reflecting back to me the lack of self love I was embodying within.
Sometimes when our woundings come to the surface, we believe something is wrong. When the woundings within are raw & open & the shadows that were previously hidden beneath shame are illuminated by the light of love, it can feel confronting. We can feel broken. Wrong. Embarrassed. Hopeless. But the truth is, this is the moment when true transformation & integration can finally happen.
We must be courageous in our hearts, willing to finally show up and meet what has been hidden in the darkness with our love & compassion. Gently embracing the pieces & parts of ourselves that we had previously learned to reject, hide, and burry. Not just for ourselves, but so we may have the capacity to do the same for those around us as well.
It is in the presence of our love & compassion, that these parts slowly begin to shed the layers of shame & unworthiness they once laid beneath and come back home into our hearts.
These parts were never wrong, never bad, never not enough. All they ever needed were our love & compassion.
And yet, sometimes as the light of love comes in to soften the edges of these places within our hearts & liberate us from our prior limited conditioning & stories about these parts, we can also met the edges of our own unworthiness. Sometimes we may even desire to continue to hide in what’s felt comfortable. But the truth is, we can not hide from love.
To recognize & remember that we are forever loved by God/Goddess/all that is simply just for existing, not for achieving or being anyone or anything, excavates at the root outdated stories of any parts of ourselves or others being “unloveable” in any way.
We are not broken. There is nothing to heal. Nothing to get rid of. Nothing to fix. Nothing to desperately try to change with our own will & way. But everything to simply love. And through the power of this love, is when true transformation can occur.
During these strong times on our planet, the invitation & medicine is to stay rooted in love & compassion as much as we can. Do not turn away from any of it. Feel the grief fully & choose to love it all.💗🙏🏻